November- Adoption Awareness Month

Hi!

It has been many weeks since I last posted and we have a few updates!  Our home study is in and everything has been submitted to Immigration.  In fact, we got our letters yesterday with our biometrics appointment date.  So in a week or so, we can go check one more thing off of the list.  :)  After our appointment, we will finish collecting our dossier documents and wait for our Immigration approval.  At that point, everything will be packaged up and sent to Little Man's country where it will be translated.  Then we wait to hear that the special committee has officially matched us with him!

It feels like we are SO much closer to him.  We are literally counting down in months- on ONE hand!  Our social worker said that April would be a realistic estimate for our first trip.  In some ways, it still feels like a lifetime away, but in other ways, we are SO CLOSE!

Life is going on as usual for us here.  I have noticed that the last few weeks have been pretty emotional for me.  I'm not sure if it is the upcoming holidays or what, but it seems like the longing for him to come home has been so very strong lately.  It is a literal, physical ACHE.  I don't know how to explain it any other way.  As I have been reading other adoption blogs, it seems like this is pretty normal for a mama walking through this.  I often joke that adoption hormones are so much stronger than pregnancy hormones.  I don't consider myself a very emotional person.  It usually takes a lot to make me cry, but my heart seems to be so very tender in this particular spot.

For example, I have an app on my phone that lets me see the weather in Little Man's town.  Right now, as he slumbers, the first winter snow is blanketing the ground outside his orphanage.  When I saw it, the tears just started flowing.  Why does he have to be so far away?  I have been hoping to get a little snow this year, so Baby Girl can play in it for the first time.  And I'm missing that opportunity with my son.  Will he get to play in the snow this year?  Is he warm enough?  Gosh, the emotions are completely overwhelming.

This Sunday, the youth were all sitting in a large circle before we started our lessons, and we were going around the circle to see what everyone wanted for Christmas.  I was praying the adults weren't going to have to participate for fear I would cry in the middle of the room--surely the desire of my heart has nothing to do with gifts this year.  It was the hubby's turn first and he said, "I really just want to pass Immigration so I can go get my son and bring him home."  For those of you who know him personally, you know he doesn't always reveal the depths of his heart so openly and bluntly like that very often.

What a journey the Father has taken us on this year!  He has changed our hearts completely, right before our eyes.  He has given us true understanding of what is eternal and what will pass away.  He has given us a PASSION for the fatherless and a desire to see them brought into a home.  He has broken us and caused us to find ourselves complete only in Him.  He has proven His faithfulness OVER and OVER.  I look at the little thermometer on the side of the page and see that we have $20,000 to come up with in the next few months.  I know that most of that must be paid by our first trip.  The countdown to meet Little Man is, in a way, also a countdown to our payment date. My first instinct is to panic, but how can I when He has PROMISED to go ahead of us?  He has provided everything so far.  He has used people to just overwhelm us with His love.   He has given me friends to walk through this journey with me.  Some who have or are adopting, and some who He has given supernatural insight so they understand my heart when I need it.  I have one precious friend who just stood in the hall and cried with me Sunday as I told her what I really wanted for Christmas.  

Oh Jesus, You are SO good to me.

Another surprise blessing is that we will be able to send a small gift to Little Man with a family traveling to his orphanage to pick up their son!  We are putting together a picture book so he can see his family and a small stuffed animal that we can record a simple message on.  Not only will he hear, maybe for the first time, that he is loved and wanted, but he will hear the precious name of JESUS. 

So that's where we are right now. 

Please continue to pray for:
~ Little Man - Physical healing, attachment to begin when he receives our box, safety, and health
~ Orphanage workers - that they may see the glory of the Lord in Little Man's story
~ Us - that we will have the endurance to finish the race and peace during the journey
~ Finances - that God will provide every penny we need at the right moment and that He would receive all the glory


I found this poem online and thought it was sweet:

Kisses in the Wind
(The Waiting Child's Lullaby)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are...what's taking us so long
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night

--Pamela Durkota, written for Josh

We found the Missing Piece!

 

We have been waiting for the right time to kick off our BIG fundraiser for our adoption and we think we have landed on the perfect idea! 

As many of you know, the average international adoption costs $30,000.  Yes- that is a LOT of zeros!  We have saved and raised a small portion so far but we have a LOOONG way to go to bring our son home.  Now that we are committed to our Little Man, the payments are due in much larger amounts and much more quickly, so we are kicking off a fundraiser that will help bring him home, but also show him just how loved he was before he ever got on the plane!

This is how it works:

We have a 1,000 piece puzzle.  Here is what it looks like!


But I have raised you up for this very purpose,
that I might show you My power
and that My Name might be proclaimed in all the earth.
Exodus 9:16

 





When you donate $10 for a puzzle piece, we will write your name on the back of the piece.  At the end of the fundraiser, we will frame the puzzle in a double-sided frame, so that Little Man will always be able to look at the names of the people who helped bring him home!  What a lifelong blessing this will be to him and to our family!  Names of friends, family and strangers who loved him before they even knew him! 


Here is an example of what the back may look like!

But wait!  There's more! 

Each puzzle piece will put your name in a drawing for some awesome prizes!  We will draw for 4 pre-paid debit cards! 

Here's how that works:
1 puzzle piece ($10) = 1 entry into the drawing
2 puzzle pieces ($20) = 2 entries into the drawing
5 puzzle pieces ($50) = 5 entries into the drawing

There is no limit on how many entries you can have!

When we have 150 pieces to our puzzle we will draw for a $50 pre-paid card!
When we have 300 pieces to our puzzle we will draw for a $50 pre-paid card!
When we have 600 pieces to our puzzle we will draw for a $100 pre-paid card!
When we have 1,000 pieces to our puzzle we will draw for a $300 pre-paid card!


If you would like to participate, you can use the PayPal button on the right side of the page or send your donation directly to us (in person or in the mail) - just make sure we have your contact information so we can inform you if you win a prize! 

We know that God has called us to adopt and we know that He has called us specifically to this little boy.  We are incredibly thankful for all of you who are being the hands and feet of Jesus by supporting our family.  We know that the Father is using YOU to make a difference in the life of this child.  YOU are declaring with us, "Little One, you are an orphan NO MORE!"

So who wants to put together a puzzle?!?!

What's Next?

Now that we are officially committed to our son, we keep getting asked, "What's next?"  At this point we have Little Man "on hold" for us, which means that his country has agreed that they will not allow any other families to pursue him.  In the meantime, we have 6 months to have our dossier submitted to his country.  If  When we are approved, his country will send us an official referral for him (which we will of course accept!), and at that point we will be locked in as his potential parents until the adoption is finalized. 

So all of that means that we have to get through this paperwork as fast as possible!  Our home study has been sent to our agency for approval and as soon as that is finalized (hopefully in a month or so), we will begin the paperwork for our dossier.  

As for the day to day, life looks a lot like it usually does.  I spend my days chasing Baby Girl around the house and waiting for Daddy to come home from work.  The mental and emotional aspects are completely different though.  Adoption had completely preoccupied my thoughts before, but my mind is in overdrive now.  I bounce constantly between longing for him to be home and having to shut out the thoughts of fear. 
What if he is hungry?  Has anyone held him today?  Does he know his mommy and daddy are trying to get to him as fast as we can?  Does he know he is loved beyond words? Are his legs growing stronger?  What if he never walks?  What if God chooses not to heal him? 

I knew that responding to God's call is not always easy.  I knew that His calls always involve work and sacrifice.  I didn't expect this though.  I didn't expect it to be this hard.  My son is on the other side of the world.  I don't know if he has eaten today.  I don't know if he has had any human contact.  I don't know if he has had a clean diaper in the last 24 hours.  I don't know if all of his needs have been met.  And as much as I love him, I am not promised that he will ever come home to my arms.  Adoption is sticky.  There are the stories that families in the adoption community just fall to pieces over.  Children that become sick and die before ever knowing they have a family fighting to come to them.  Children who don't ever come home because of the technicalities in paperwork.   These are the thoughts that the enemy brings to my mind.  Every. Single. Day.

 I don't type all of this out so people will feel sorry for us.  In fact, I would rather people rejoice with us that God is visibly at work.  He is working in our lives and in this process, and we all get to be witnesses to the great things He is doing!  But in order to understand the magnitude of His majesty, you have to hear about the depths of the trenches we are kneeling in. 

All of these questions leave me with no choice but to trust.  I have to trust that God is with him.   I have to trust that his caregivers are loving on him and meeting his needs.  This journey has been all about God's faithfulness for us.  He has been so faithful to secure our trust in Him.  I know that each step I take is secure, because He has made all of the steps in the past secure.  I know that as He leads us into the unknown, He sees the future and is in control.  I know that I don't have the ability to walk this path alone, but y'all, He is so faithful.  He walks with me with every single step.

He has provided every single payment we have needed so far.  The money just shows up in the strangest ways.  (Which is actually what I have prayed for.  I don't want any of this process to ever bring glory to us or be anything we can boast in.  I figure the stranger the miracle, the harder it will be for me to ever look back and say, "I did that.")   Sometimes the money comes from people who just randomly hand us a check for the adoption, sometimes it comes through fundraisers, sometimes it comes from us pinching pennies and taking out of savings, and sometimes it comes from odd jobs that randomly appear for us.   Even though we are only 1/3 of the way through our payments and even though they will be due MUCH sooner since God led us to him so quickly in the process, I know that He will continue to provide.  So for those who have been praying or have answered His call to donate to our adoption through fundraisers or donation, THANK YOU!  You are a part of the miracle He is doing and You are taking part in Him revealing His majesty. 

Here are some things you can pray for:
~  Pray for his healing.  Healing of his hydrocephaly.  Healing from the results of his spina bifida. 
~  Pray for his caregivers to love him and meet each need.
~  Pray for God to continue to provide the finances and to make the path straight and smooth in front of us.
~  Pray for our faith to be strengthened, even when our Little Man feels like a lifetime away.

Hello My Name Is...

  What LOVE the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called His children!  And what a great honor to be able, in return, to pour out that love on a son!  We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

   Everyone has been asking to hear the story, so here it is!  We saw his picture on a Friday, prayed and fell in love with him before we even saw his file on that Monday.  Some of his medical conditions were very scary so we had an adoption medical specialist look over his files.  Her news was not totally positive, but we knew that he was the one God had been preparing our hearts for.  From the first time we saw his picture to submitting commitment papers was exactly one week.  God confirmed over and over that he was the one for us.  He had been working in our hearts for the last two months about totally releasing all of our "specifications" on our medical needs list.  Ultimately, we would never have been matched with our son if we had not surrendered to His plan, as he didn't meet our "specifications" medically or age-wise.

    I think the biggest surprise of this part of the journey is the intensity of emotions that come with finding your child.  Here is an excerpt from my personal journal from two weeks ago to sum up some of those feelings.

                                                                                    ~

   "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of Justice.  Blessed are all who wait on Him! ~ Isaiah 30:18

  The last 30 hours have been a complete roller coaster!  I didn't even get through his first video without weeping like a baby at him calling for 'mama.'  We should hear back from the international adoption doctor by this time tomorrow.  I think in my heart, I am already calling him mine, but I know my logical side must be satisfied with all the facts.  We know we must make the decision God chooses, not what we think is right.  We will meet with our pastor tomorrow in an attempt to find complete clarity.  Despite all the emotions, I sat down to listen to some worship music to quiet my heart.  I landed on "Came to My Rescue" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAMbEPZfWCY

) and was just ushered into the presence of Jesus.  Everything else faded away and all I could think was of everything He has done for me and how I wanted to share His story with this little boy.  I heard His familiar whisper as I prayed.

  - What about his medical issues?  Surely we aren't prepared to handle them.

  - I am the Healer.

 -  What about his age?  He is older than Baby Girl.

 -  I create families.  

 At this point I'm remembering that without God there is no concept of family.  He created it.  Who am I to tell Him how to put mine together?  I am feeling like a sheep who has been tapped with a Shepard's crook and nudged back in line.  Of course, I am ashamed at my disrespect and lack of trust until I hear His sweet voice again. 

  -  Oh, Beloved.  Follow Me. 

  I don't know if this answers our questions, but it fills me with such peace.  There is such an overwhelming satisfaction in simply being still and knowing that He is God.  What an amazing gift to be loved by Him.  Instead of agonizing over what we are supposed to do, I find myself excited to just see what He will do.  I do love this little boy and I desperately hope we make the right decisions.  If we became pregnant, there would be no room for doubt because God would have already given life. It is much harder to think you are responsible for making the right or wrong choice.  

  One thing I have found particularly interesting is that his birth mother and I were pregnant at the same time.  When I was pregnant and convinced God was bringing us a son, was I right?  Was He preparing me from the beginning?  This mother's heart has peace knowing that the Good and Perfect Father orchestrates all things according to His perfect plan.  

  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'  Isaiah 30:21"

                                                                                 ~

 

  So with all of those fears laid to rest, we are thrilled to announce that Baby Girl is now a sister to a big brother!  He is 2 years old and we can't wait to bring him home.  Adoption has so many similarities to spiritual salvation, it is hard to not draw comparisons from there.  Just as the Father seeks us, brings us to His table and heals our brokenness, He also makes us a new creation.  And for our sweetie, a new life means a new name too.  For us, we couldn't see a greater way to express our love than to give him the name of his father.   What a precious thought to know he is fatherless no more!  His birth name is very special to us and will still be used in our house also.   However, for privacy reasons, we will not be posting either. 

We are hoping to travel to meet him sometime in early Spring, and hopefully we will all be home together by this time next year!

 So there you have it, folks! We are now the proud parents of two precious kiddos! 

Here are some specific prayer requests:

~ Pray for Little Man to develop strength in his trunk and legs.  He was born with spina bifida which has affected his development greatly.

~ Pray for his hydrocephaly to heal completely so he will no longer need a shunt.

~ Pray for God's glory to be shown to his caregivers.

~ Pray for our hearts to prepare for him and his heart to be prepared for us.

~ Pray for God to provide all of the funds necessary to complete his adoption without delays.  Our fees will be due much faster than we originally planned, since our timeline is much shorter, and we still have a loooong way to go on our fees.  But God has provided for every need so far and we have no doubt that He will continue to do so.

BIG NEWS!

We have a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!  That's right, this is THE announcement!

Yesterday we received word that we were officially committed to a child!

As most of you know, we were planning on going the referral route for this adoption, which meant a 2-5 year process.  If you have followed the blog, you know that last month, no matches were currently available and this lead to much heartache.  We continued to pray and felt that God was nudging us to trust Him even more with our checklist "selections".   So we increased our age range.  Still no match. 
At that point, I just decided to just rest in God's timing.  I knew that we couldn't rush what He had planned and knew that He would send us a match in His time, even if it wasn't what I wanted. 

Almost two weeks ago, I checked the waiting list (which is something I had not been keeping up with since we were praying for a match from our list).  One picture stopped me dead in my tracks.  I called the hubs immediately and told him I knew I wanted to pull a medical file.  He agreed without even seeing the picture.  Of course I missed our agency closing by about 3 minutes.  So we waited.  All.  Weekend. 

In hindsight this was best, because we were able to pray without the pressure of seeing everything in this sweet kiddo's file.  Our Pastor asked us on Sunday if there had been any progress in the adoption, to which the hubs replied, "Actually, we've been meaning to talk to you about something..." 

I called our social worker first thing Monday morning and she sent over the file.  I think despite all of the fear, we knew immediately this child was ours.  We prayed and laughed and cried over all of the information we had.  (Side note- if you ever plan on adoption for your family, just prepared that the words emotional roller coaster don't even begin to scratch the surface of this process.  Totally worth every minute though.)  We had an adoption medical specialist review the files and sat down with our Pastor that Wednesday.  We told him everything, all of our feelings, fears, and all of the ways God had confirmed what we were thinking.  He rejoiced with us as we surrendered to what we all knew was the Father's will.  I told him that I expected God to give us peace with the right decision, but I never expected the pure JOY that would come with knowing we were going to be the parents of this child.  The emotions are simply overwhelming. 

The next step was to sign what are called "commitment papers", which basically tell our kiddo's country that we want to commit to this child and to please match us with him/her while we finish our paperwork. We were told it would take 1-2 weeks to hear back.  We heard back 3 business days later.  The morning of our wedding anniversary, we received the best call from our social worker:  We were matched! 

So now we are a family of 4!  There is a precious kiddo waiting for us on the other side of the world, and we can't wait to get there!  We were told that a good estimate of our first trip would be around March.  So hopefully by this spring, we will be together for a week and a few months later we will all be together at HOME!

We have not told family and friends the gender and specifics about our kiddo yet.  We are planning on having a reveal party this weekend so everyone can see this sweet face together! 

So there you have it, folks!  There will be more stories to tell in the coming weeks.  This is such a condensed story, you won't even believe all of the things God has done in this process!  After all of the details are revealed, I hope to type some of it out.  Our Father is perfect and has orchestrated this adoption from the beginning, long before we started this adoption journey.  I still have a hard time believing how many intricate pieces of this puzzle He has been putting together for YEARS.  Y'all HE  IS  GOOD.  He is so good.

Peace

Whew! This month has been a roller coaster for us.  We have had some very exciting adoption moments where we clearly saw God move and we have also had some discouragement.  People don't always have the kindest things to say to us about adoption and the process itself isn't always easy.  We held our breath as we prayed relentlessly that the Father would match us with our child in this short window of time (see previous posts).  I got the email from our social worker about a week ago.  They couldn't find a child currently on the waiting list that would be a match for our family.  Then today, adoptive families in our program were informed that the protests against the government are causing some delays in adoptions.   Fortunately, none of the families we are connected to will be affected because they are already at a certain point in their processes.  (Basically, families whose dossiers are in country and waiting for a referral are stuck because few to no meetings are able to take place with all of the unrest.)  While we aren't at that point in the process yet, we are rapidly approaching it.  I have no idea what this will mean for us in the next few months as our dossier is submitted.

I certainly don't mean to complain, but I do think it is only fair to explain all aspects of this journey.  It is not all sunshine and roses and painting the nursery.  As much as we know our Perfect Father is still intimately involved on this journey with us, it does not guarantee that the journey will be easy.  There have been many tears shed this month.  The ache in my arms to scoop up our child grows with intensity every day.  To put it in perspective, a pregnancy typically lasts 9 months.  If you look at the time we decided to grow our family, my "due date" is now.  But instead, our timeline is still measured in YEARS.

Despite the discouragement, we are thankful to serve a SOVEREIGN Lord.  When He spoke to us almost a year ago, He already knew how my heart would shatter with that disappointing email.  He already knew what today would look like.  He already knows when we will have a match and when we will bring our kiddo home. 

Today has been a day of quiet reflection on what I want my heart to be.  The groaning in my chest is just a reminder of who I have prayed to become.  While we are stretching to the point of breaking, we remember this is how He molds us into who He is calling us to be.   I have been replaying favorite worship songs to remind me of those prayers and to remind me that this process doesn't just provide a home for our child, but it GROWS me too. 

"I want to live with abandon.  Give You all that I am. Every part of my heart, Jesus, I place in Your hands." 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SJR2vdJFXw

"Am I proof that You are who you say You are?  That grace can really change our heart? Do I live like Your love is true? People pass And even if they don't know my name Is there evidence that I've been changed? When they see me, do they see You?
I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You.
If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back.
I want to live like that"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfosSggwQS0

"I'm giving You fear and You give faith.  I'm giving You doubt and You give me grace.  For every step I've never been alone.  Even when it hurts You'll have your way.  Even in the valley I will say, with every breath, You've never let me go.   I will wait for You.  You've NEVER failed before.  I will wait for You. 
If there's a road I should walk, help me find it.  If I need to be still, give me peace for the moment.  WHATEVER Your will.  Whatever Your will.  Can You help me find it?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsjZ94K7UQs

So today, I pray for peace. 
Peace for the people of our child's country.
Peace for my husband, that he would have rest in this journey.
And I pray for peace for this mama's heart, even in its most unsteady moments. 
Peace, Lord Jesus, Peace.

A coincidence?

We went for our physicals and blood work today.  When our agency and home study agent told us we would need physicals they said, "Oh, just get your family doctor to check you out and fill out this form."  No big deal.  ...if you already have a family doctor. 

So off we searched for a doctor.  We aren't sick very often so we haven't really needed a doctor in the last few years.  After a few phone calls, the hubs got us an appointment.   I have been a little nervous about this whole thing.  What if they find something crazy and we don't pass?  So I've been praying this week that God would work it all out.  

Check in: no co-pay this time! Surprise #1!

The nurse takes our vitals - both are perfect.  Whew!  So far so good!

Then she sends us off to the little room.  Of course the office is decorated with things from our alma mater (AKA -the best university on the planet)!   We smiled at each other because we know God is working in this and laugh because the hubs is even wearing his school polo to match!

The doctor comes in.  He is super friendly and I start explaining the forms for the home study and forms for the dossier.  He takes them out of my hand and says, "Oh, I know all about these.  We just finished ours a few months ago.  We are adopting from China."

Seriously?  Mouth wide open.  Again.  I've got to work on a better surprised face.  But really, could God validate this process for us anymore?  He continues to surprise us with each step. 

So we get to swap stories with the doctor and share experiences.  It turns out that they are also a part of our local support group for adoptive families.  Go figure!

He sends us off to the lab to get our blood work done.  We are signing in and I mention to the lady that we are getting all of this done for an adoption.  She says, "Oh that's wonderful!  I was adopted!"

Nothing like a little faith booster to steady my heart. 




I don't know about you, but this just validates to me just how much the Father is involved in our lives.  I don't think "stumbling across" this doctor was a coincidence.  I don't think that we "just happened" to sit across from that specific lady at the lab.   I think He is intimately involved in this entire process, but even more than that, He is involved in every aspect of my life.  And not just my life, but yours too. 

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”  Deuteronomy 31:8

Possibly a HUGE step forward

We were able to spend the 4th of July with my in-laws this year.  As it turns out, our agency is only an hour from their house so we decided to drop in and meet our case worker for the first time.  Our many talks on the phone are great, but it was wonderful to finally match a face with her voice!

As many of you know, part of the adoption referral process is filling out an extensive list of medical needs that we are willing to consider.  This is the one part of the process I dreaded more than anything else.  It is so incredibly difficult to feel like you are playing the role of God in determining what you can handle.  After all, in a pregnancy, He chooses the gender, medical needs and everything else in this little life.  We spent the last months praying about it, talked to several medical professionals who were able to explain all of the different conditions, took a deep breath and tackled the list.  We would go through a few of the boxes, take a break, pray and then go through a few more.  Finally we finished the 5 page list and laid the rest at His feet.  (For privacy reasons, we are choosing not to disclose our choices.  If you have any questions about this part of the process, we would be happy to answer them, but please do not ask us what we chose as it is a very personal and sensitive subject.  :) ) 

Since we were in the area, we wanted to talk with our case worker about our list and see if it would reduce our waiting time.  She looked through our list and said, "Well, if you are sure of your choices, I can go ahead and fax this to the team in country so they can start looking for your child." 
I wish there had been a camera there to capture my expression.  Eyes huge.  Mouth wide open. 

Basically what this means is that our agency's partners in country will begin looking over the "master" waiting child list for a child to match to us.  If they find a match before our dossier (huge stack of paperwork) is submitted (probably around November) our process will speed up quite drastically.  If they don't find a match in these next few months, the Minister of Justice will take over our case when our dossier is submitted and the waiting time will be back to 2-5 years.  It was a huge surprise to us, because we didn't think this was even a possibility.  Typically, they don't start searching for your child until the dossier is in country.

It is unlikely that we will get THE phone call in the next few months, but we consider this an opportunity to watch God move mountains if He chooses.  If a match is found before our dossier is submitted, our process will proceed very quickly, which means that we could possibly have our kiddo home about a year from now.  (Seriously, I can't even type that out without giggling and clapping. Ha!)

It is a little nerve-wrecking having all of that information typed out for everyone to see.  It somehow makes it more real.  But we wanted to share it because it is a very specific thing that you can pray for.

~ Pray that our agency's partners will be able to find a match on the waiting child list BEFORE our dossier is submitted- which means our child will have a much shorter wait in the orphanage.
~ Pray that everyone in this process will act with diligence and urgency so that our child and all the others waiting in orphanages will join a family soon!
~ Pray that God would remove all the obstacles in this process and that He would surround our Little One with grace and love.
~ Pray that the finances would work in His timing.  A faster process means the funds must come together MUCH faster.

Thank you for all the prayers and walking with us on this journey.  We are so excited at the possibility of this process moving quickly!  It is more than we ever could have dreamed.  It is exciting to see the Lord move and to be able to share this story as a testimony to His greatness.  We are so blessed!

Building a boat

The waiting!  Oh the waiting! 

I knew this was coming.  I knew my impatience would get the best of me at some point.  :)  As we are wrapping up our home study and about to start on our dossier, I am seeing that we are ending our list of things to do.  Without a list of things to do, I can only wait.  Waiting is not fun.  Waiting is not the part of adoption that parents look forward to.  Waiting is HARD. 

It is difficult to comprehend that my baby may be hungry or lonely or hurt and it will take me SO very long to get to him/her and begin the healing process.  We have adoptive friends we have connected with online who are adopting through the same program, but we are the only family going the referral route (this means that the country will match us with a child).  The families we keep connecting with are adopting from the waiting list (which means they choose their child off of a list at any point in their process and then proceed to adopt that specific child).  The waiting list is a much shorter wait, whereas a referral could take 3-5 years to even get a match.  Why don't we just pick one off of the list, you ask?  We do check the list quite frequently, but God has not given us a peace about any of the faces we see.  Most families say that they "knew" when they saw their child's picture.  There is a little boy whose face is always in my mind, but we do not currently qualify to adopt him as he is in another country.  So as much as I don't want this door to close, I channel that disappointment in praying for his family to find him soon. 

So throughout this process, God has been constantly reminding me of Old Testament stories, many that aren't the "big" stories or Sunday School favorites.  I find myself holding onto each story as I experience the different emotions that are a part of this journey.  When it comes to the struggle of waiting, I am reminded of a "big" story.  Noah.

We all know the story of the flood.  In Genesis 6, God determines that the evilness of man has reached its max.  There must be a cleansing to purify the earth.  God tells Noah the specifics of the ark to build and promises to establish a covenant with him.  In verse 22, Noah's faith is summed up in one sentence.  "Noah did everything just as God commanded him."

I have read that scholars believe it took Noah around 50 years to actually build the ark.  While it is possible, I seriously doubt that God spoke to Noah every morning and said, "Now Noah, remember the command I gave you?  I'm still expecting you to complete that boat.  Don't be discouraged when the hammer breaks or people call you crazy. Just keep building."

Maybe God did encourage him from time to time, but from what I gather, there was a command and then (roughly) 50 years later, the promise was fulfilled.  50 YEARS!  Can you imagine having to continue doing the most difficult, bizarre building project for 50 years with no sign of rain and still not lose your faith?  I can't.  I can barely comprehend 3-5 years of waiting.

But I can relate to Noah in a small sense.  Can you just picture with me for a minute the look on his face when he's working on the last part of the boat, maybe mumbling to himself that he actually is insane, then turns around and sees every kind of animal walking towards him, ready to get on board?  (Maybe he had to search for them, but just go with me for a minute.)  I can relate to that face because I make it every time God provides the finances for the adoption.  I feel that same sense of awe when someone hands us a check out of the blue, or when a friend sends me a message saying that she was adopted and wants to support our child, or when I have an order for new necklaces, or when the hubby is able to work on his parents' farm and earn a little extra cash.  And I certainly make that face when we deposit all of that money into our adoption account and the total is the EXACT amount that we need for our next payment.

I don't know if Noah received encouragement along his journey, but I know that I do.  I know that God is whispering (and sometimes shouting), "I am still here.  Just keep moving forward."  Sure there are days that I am discouraged.  There are days I think we are crazy.  There are days that I am so scared, I don't want to take the next step.  But He reminds me that He is still in this.  Sometimes it is during quiet time and sometimes it is through the actions of those supporting and encouraging us along the way. 

I am finding that this process is a journey of faith in the waiting.  So please be in prayer for our faith.  Pray for our hearts to be obedient in each step.  Pray for our child to be LOVED and cared for while he/ she waits. 

Pray that our lives would look like the lyrics to this song.  It is truly our desire to serve Him while we wait.  To move ahead bold and confident.  Taking every step in obedience.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Afq10d9Z29g

Ready for a story?

So after all the recent posts about how the process is going, who is ready for a story about how truly amazing our God is?  I promised that God was moving in our story and we have already seen Him confirm our faith several times through different avenues, but this one almost made me fall out of my chair...

So our church has a goal of adopting 20 unreached people groups by the year 2020.  An unreached people group is a culture of people, small or large, who have less than 2% of Christians.  (It is not necessarily an entire country, but a group of people who identify themselves as a culture inside a country- think Cajuns vs. the entire state of Louisiana.) Basically, this means that there aren't enough Christians to spread the Good News through their entire culture.  Our church's mission is not only to select a group and pray for them and their leaders, but to also travel there.  And not just travel there for a short mission trip but continue to return and develop disciples and spread the love of Jesus.

The youth group decided they wanted to select a people group.  They had a list of 8 groups or so that they were praying over, knowing that God would lead them to the group He chose for them.  I saw the list and none of the countries specifically stuck out to me.  We prayed with them that God would lay on their hearts the group He wanted for our youth.  Sunday was the big reveal.  Our youth pastor said there were missionaries from the Czech Republic there to speak to all of us, of course that meant that the youth had chosen a country.  But out of the corner of my eye, I see a map of Europe and a whole portion (overlapping several countries) of the map is highlighted with the word "Roma" in big, bold letters.  Our youth pastor stands up and says that they felt God calling them to the Roma people and that they would begin focusing on those in the Czech Republic.  I almost fell out of my chair. 

A few weeks ago, during our phone interview, our agency told us that many/ most of the children available for adoption in Eastern Europe are Roma.  The Roma People are a group of immigrants who migrated from Northern India/ Pakistan to this particular section of Europe.  There is a tendency to sometimes lean towards racism against them, therefore many of their orphans are not adopted in-country. 

So here is the complete surprise blessing from the Father.  Not only will we likely bring home a Roma child, but he/she will come home to a community of people who have been praying for the Roma people.  And not just praying for them, but have actually gone to their part of the world, learned about their culture and accepted and loved them. 

Anyone else amazed at how big God's plan is?  Only an all-powerful, loving Father could have put so many different pieces together.  Even if our child is not Roma, what a powerful testimony to him/ her that our church has accepted, been to and loved his/her part of the world.  The youth are planning their first trip in Spring 2014.


I hope that this little story encourages you and grows your faith.  God is involved in every aspect of all of our lives.  He sees one part and connects it to another.  Won't you trust that He sees the big picture and put your faith in Him today?

Our first Home Study visit is on the calendar!

Our first Home Study visit has been scheduled!  June 4!  We are excited to begin this phase of the process as it is one giant step closer to our child!  Our home study will be 4 visits with a social worker who will evaluate every aspect of our lives, finances, upbringing, parenting, and home.  Whew!  I'm already a little nervous.  :)  So the next few weeks will consist of us praying, talking and me obsessively cleaning the house!  Please pray for this process to happen smoothly and quickly.  Also, God is working quite obviously in the financial aspect.  We are so thankful for those who are praying and financially supporting our fundraisers.  He gets all the glory!  I can't wait to share with you just how awesomely He is moving! 

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was Sunday and it was a wonderful day of rest in our house.  I think I received the greatest gift the mother of a young toddler can receive- a nap!  A long, uninterrupted nap!  Mother's Day is a day that I always want to spend wrapped up in the arms of my family and reflecting on how much joy they bring to me.  I was a little surprised at how bittersweet it was for me this year.  As much as I loved having Baby Girl running around the house, I was surprised at how much more it made my heart ache for our Little One.  While I was rocking Baby Girl before her nap, I wondered if anyone would rock Little One to sleep.  I wondered if s/he even knew there was a mother longing for him/her to be home.  For me, Mother's Day is a day to spend rejoicing in the blessing of family, but ours didn't feel complete.  As much as I loved having Baby Girl and the Hubby around, I longed for our Little One to be a part of the day too.

It also made me ache for another mother half-way around the world whose baby was not with her on Mother's Day either.  Her arms were empty too and I'm sure the same child was on her mind.   Two families are missing a precious baby.  Two mothers are longing for the same child.  That is the mystery of adoption.

As thrilled as I am that God has called us to adopt, I am sad that adoption ever has to be the solution. In a perfect world, a mother would always have her baby in her arms.  I really believe that adoption is always God's Plan B.  I think that Plan A was to always have families remain together, but sin made its way into our world, and God's Plan A was marred.  Extreme poverty, addiction, infidelity, abandonment, abuse, death and a long list of other difficulties are now reality in our world as a result of the fall.  Without these things, families would remain together and adoption wouldn't even be a consideration.  If you think about it, even spiritual adoption was sort of a Plan B.  Without sin, Jesus would have never had to die and we wouldn't have had to be adopted into God's family.  Without sin, we would still live in perfect community with the Father.  

Because of sin, I will have to answer when he asks, "Why did my first family leave me?"  Or choke back the tears when she questions, "Why didn't anyone come for me?"   These questions should never haunt the mind of a child.  Of course Jesus knew from the beginning of time that this child would grow up in our home and would call us "Mommy and Daddy" but it still doesn't erase that His perfect plan is to leave families intact. 

Despite all of the emotions and the many facets of adoption, I am grateful that the holy Father is still on the throne.  He sees and understands it all.  As He holds my hand through this journey, He comforts another mother's heart.  The same hands that hold me, hold her.  I am overwhelmed at His goodness and His unfailing mercy.  My heart echos Hagar's words, "Surely You are the God who sees!"

At church on Mother's Day, the band played one of my favorite songs.  "Your Great Name" by Natalie Grant.  The lines that always grip my heart and reminds me to hold fast through this process are:
All the weak find their strength
At the sound of Your great Name
Hungry souls receive grace
At the sound of Your great Name
The fatherless THEY FIND THEIR REST
At the sound of Your great Name
The sick are healed and the dead are raised
At the sound of Your great Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuuLBPOYcI8
What an awesome, all-powerful God!

Here are some prayer requests for our adoption process:
- We are working through our training, readings and marriage surveys.  Pray that we can accomplish everything in a timely manner.
- I got an email from the Children's Home this week.  She can start our home study at the beginning of June! Pray that it is successful and that God would provide all of the funds in His way.

Our Phone Interview

We had our phone interview with our case worker this afternoon!  It was basically a chance for her to get to know us and thoroughly review the process with us.  Whew!  It is a lot to grasp but I am more excited than ever!  I got to ask her all about her trip to "our country" this past March.  She told us about the orphanages, the people who would be taking care of our adoption in-country, the culture and the beautiful kiddos.  I have seen the pictures and videos but hearing someone actually describe it to you is a whole new ball game!  After hearing her stories, I was ready to get on a plane!  I know that we have a very loooooong wait ahead of us but my arms are already aching to hold our sweet kiddo.

I am overwhelmed with a passion to bring home our son or daughter. We learned a little more about why most of these children are released for adoption and came across another difficult-to-swallow statistic: "[This country] has long had more abortions than births and was previously estimated to lose as much as 40 percent of its population."  Statistics say that 40% of  women here have had an abortion.  40%!  I am SO grateful that some of these mothers are choosing LIFE for their babies!  Please pray for the hearts of these women facing such difficult decisions.  Pray that God would clearly reveal His will that they choose LIFE for themselves and their children and that He would present them with opportunities to parent or to find other mommies and daddies who want to love these precious little ones.

This makes me reflect on our child.  It is possible that our child hasn't even been born yet!  Please be in prayer for this woman who is carrying such a special gift.  Pray for her heart as she is making (or already made) a decision that will alter her future forever.  While bringing home a child is a thrilling event for our family, it is breaking apart another.   I liken it to a heart transplant.  One family gets to celebrate new life, while another has only memories and the hope that they made the right choice.  A mother is giving away her heart for me to love.   It is a very humbling and difficult concept to grasp, but we are thrilled to open our arms to the child God has picked for our family.


So what's next?  We will begin our home study as soon as our social worker can get us scheduled! Thanks for checking in on us. There are many decisions ahead of us.  More updates coming soon!

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.  ~ John 14:18

First Stack of Paperwork

We have a quick update!

This week we mailed off our first stack of paperwork and payment to our agency.  Our next step is an in-depth phone conversation that will happen with our adoption representative (the woman who is our specific social worker in charge of our case).  We will schedule that as soon as our paperwork and fee are processed. 

We also mailed off our packet to our home study social worker.  She will be getting us into her system and then setting up appointments for us to have several at-home interviews.  She will interview us as a couple and individually, ask about our childhoods, and our parenting methods, as well as make sure our home is considered safe and meets their qualifications. 

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.  :)  For those who asked about how you can help financially by purchasing a necklace, ordering coffee or contributing a donation, we have set up links on the side of the page.  -->  Or, you can always leave a message on the blog, facebook, or get in touch with one of us.  :)  Your support means more to us than you know!

How you can help!

We have been asked "What can we do to help?"  So here are some things you can do to become a part of our adoption and help bring our little one home!

1.  PRAY 
     I wholeheartedly believe that prayer is the biggest thing anyone can do.  Prayer directly touches the heart of the Father.  Here are some things you can specifically pray for:  Pray for the hubby and I to have faith, perseverance, and to clearly hear the Lord as He guides our decisions. Pray for Baby Girl- that her heart would be ready to accept a new sibling when the time comes. Pray for our new little one- that he or she is healthy, protected and LOVED while he or she is waiting to become a part of a new family. Pray that the process will flow smoothly and in a timely manner.  Pray that God would provide the funds to complete the adoption.

2.  ENCOURAGE
     While we are still in the beginning phases, it is my understanding that this process is very much an emotional roller coaster.  As the days and years pass, encourage us not to lose faith.

3.  SUPPORT
     There are several ways you can support us.  Emotionally, spiritually and in some cases, financially.  We will be hosting several fundraisers in the coming months.  All of the financial gifts received for those will go directly to the adoption costs. 

~ Currently, we are involved in an ongoing fundraiser called Just Love Coffee.  It is an online website that sells delicious coffee and a portion of the proceeds will be mailed directly to us to be deposited into our adoption account!  So friends and family get to taste some amazing coffee and support an orphan in the process!  Win/win!

Here is a video that explains this incredible company:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAcf_V7U3ys   Seriously.  Watch this!

And here is where you can go to start drinking some of this delicious coffee! https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/tobelongandbeloved/


~  We will also be selling handmade necklaces as a reminder to wear around your neck to pray for our child and also a reminder that He has adopted us into His family forever. "In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—  to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." Ephesians 1:4b-6





The necklaces are handmade tile pendants on a 24" antique bronze style chain with a lobster claw clasp.










More designs are in the works as well as some with silver chains!








Thank you for praying about how you can be a part of our adoption!  We can't wait to have more updates to share!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

The Details

We would just like to say thank you for all the kind words we have received since we announced our adoption yesterday!  Your love and support is so very heartwarming!  We have been asked a lot of questions about how the adoption will work, so I thought I would fill you in on the details. 

~  We are adopting from Eastern Europe.  Why there?  Due to my young age we were limited in the countries we could choose from.  Each country has its own set of rules about who can adopt.  "Our country" was one of the 3 countries that we qualified for out of our 2 top agencies. We would have been thrilled with a child from any country, but we felt God calling us here.

~  Our agency states that for healthy child adoption, the process will average between 3-5 years.  This time frame could vary greatly depending on the health status of the child, age and gender that we specify in our paperwork.  We are still in prayer about what God would choose for our family in all three of these categories.

~  How old will our kiddo be?  We would like to bring home a child younger than our sweet girl in order to maintain birth order.  Because "our country" releases children for adoption in their country before releasing them for international adoption, the youngest the child would likely be is 2 years old by the time he or she comes home. 

~  Why international adoption?  We chose international adoption because God told us to pursue this particular country. We think that both domestic and international adoption are wonderful and blessed by the Father, but His call for us was to look here.

~  Where are we in the process?  We submitted our application about 2 weeks ago and received word that we had been officially accepted into the program a few days later.  This week, we will submit our first stack of paperwork and our first agency fee.  After that is processed, we will begin our home study, which is a series of in-depth interviews in our home with a social worker. 

~  Why is international adoption so expensive?  I have asked this same question!  There are many fees involved in the adoption process.  These are required to pay for the employees at the agency here in the US, translation costs for the paperwork, employees in country, travel expenses, court costs in the US and there, and supporting the orphanage where our child will live until we arrive to bring him or her home.  We do not support or condone the buying or selling of children in any way. 

~  How will you pay for this adoption?  We only know that God told us to step out in faith and that He has promised that He already has a plan.  We do not know where the funds will come from, but trust that our Father, who paid our ransom with the life of His Son, can certainly provide the funds to bring home the child He has selected for our family.  We do plan to have several fundraisers, doing odd jobs, working on my in-laws' farm, and saving every penny we can in order to help cover the costs.  We know God will provide and strengthen our faith and those following our story.  I am anxiously awaiting sharing on the blog the miracles He will perform!

~  Will you travel there?  Yes.  We will make two trips.  When we receive a match to our child, we will travel  for a week to meet him or her and begin the bonding process.  We will then return home and wait for our child's paperwork to go through the court system.  This will likely take several months (I am already dreading having to say goodbye and leave our precious little one on the other side of the world and simply wait!).  After our child is cleared, we will travel back and bring him or her home forever!


If you have any other questions, I would love to answer them!  Just like a pregnant mama, I love talking about the child we are expecting.   We so appreciate your support and prayers as we navigate this process and all of the emotions it brings. 

To Belong and Be Loved

"Every child has a dream to belong and be loved." ~ Audio Adrenaline

We have very exciting news!  We are expecting!

That's right, we are a family of FOUR!

So far, our journey of becoming a family of four is a little different than most.  You see, I'm not pregnant.  Our precious child is currently in Eastern Europe.  We have begun the international adoption process and are thrilled to open our arms to the child God has determined will be the perfect fit in our family.  To fill you in on the details, I will simply type out a journal entry that I wrote several months ago. 

                                                          ~ ~ ~

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and I will bring you back from captivity.  I will gather you from all the nations..."    ~ Jeremiah 29: 11-14a

Adoption.  It feels new on my tongue and at the same time has the sweet taste of familiarity.  I have known since I was a young girl that God was calling me to love the fatherless and care for the needs of the orphan.  Missions and orphans have always been my heart.  I even spent my childhood playing "orphanage" with my dolls;  I wanted them to know they were all loved equally.  About 6 months ago, I felt God's gentle nudging.  As the weeks passed, He became more persistent.  We went to an Adoption Options meeting at the Children's Home in November.  I remember not signing up for the door prizes because I didn't want to take away resources from someone who was wanting to adopt immediately.  God pursued me relentlessly.  Every song I heard, every sermon, every TV show, every radio DJ became about adoption to me, even if it was not the intended topic.  God had my full attention, but how would I convince my husband that our time frame we had planned wasn't what God was calling us to?  Faithfully, God reached him where he was.  He felt the same calling and we decided to step out in faith together.  In some ways, it is difficult to release the plans I have for our lives, in others, it is the most incredible sensation of freedom.  I know that His ways are not mine; I also know that His ways are better than I could ever imagine.

We have researched countries and agencies.  After looking all over the globe for "our" country and discovering that our favorite agency does find us eligible (age-wise) for a country after all, we find ourselves staring squarely at a map of Eastern Europe.

 Jeremiah 29:11 keeps coming to mind.  For the first time, though, I don't hear it in the context of my future.  Our God has a plan for these children.  Plans to grow and prosper them, not a plan for evil.  Plans to give them a HOPE and a FUTURE.  My God is strong and my God is mighty to save.  I don't know how it will all work.  I have laid before Him my fears about paying for an international adoption.  His response was quick, but gentle and powerful, "Beloved, I have made a way."  A holy and intimate moment that gives me the courage to persevere through the unknown.  He doesn't owe me an explanation, but He paid my ransom, and for that I owe Him my faith and devotion.

God knows what the rest of my life looks like.  He knows all of our children intimately, after all, He is the One who knits them together.  He knows how and when they will become a part of our family, whether adopted or biological.  Our job is to be faithful in following His calling for our lives. 

This process has easily been the biggest spiritual growth I have ever known.  I understand now what it means to be emptied of yourself to bring someone into your family.  To choose to unconditionally love someone who does not yet love you.  To understand in some small way, that this is the heart of the Father.

                                                    ~ ~ ~

I wanted to write out this blog so that those who are already a part of our life and those who will hear about our story will be able to follow along on this journey with us.  In coming posts, I will explain more about the route we are taking and exactly how God is moving.  We appreciate all of your support and prayers. 

To close, I will share the link to the song that started us on this journey.  For those of you who know us, you know how dear Haiti is to our hearts.  The gentle nudging God used when I heard this song on the radio became a loud call when I watched the video and saw it was filmed with precious orphans in Haiti. 

God used this song to begin leading me down this path.  A few weeks later, He called the hubby with the same song.
The line that took my breath away?  "These could be our daughters and our sons."
For the hubs?  "Every child has a dream to belong and be loved."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U64bongHqYU