Good morning! Or good evening...I'm not entirely sure which time zone I am addressing. ;) Welcome to the musings of my sleep-deprived brain which is also functioning under a recent dose of Benadryl (I will beat jet lag this trip!)...hopefully that kicks in soon. It is 5:15 am here and I thought I should attempt to write about our first day before it all becomes a distant memory.
We landed in the Capitol city around 1:30 pm, after a mostly uneventful trip here. We did somehow leave the airport on our 9 hour flight on time and still land an hour late. I'm not entirely sure how that even happens, but it did force us to sprint to the last leg of our trip. That was fun. Especially after already being awake for almost 24 hours at that point. Also, on a completely unrelated note, I am WAY out of shape!
We met our driver at the airport and the Hubs got to practice a little of his new language skills. (he has an unbelievable knack for this language!). We got to the hotel, which is HUGE. Seriously, our room/apartment is slightly larger than our first house we had when we got married. That will be a wonderful thing as we bring Little Man here in 24 hours (Wow!) . Having so much space is a blessing with two curious toddlers.
Right after we got to our room, there was time for a quick shower and then our sweet missionary friend arrived to show us around and help us find a bookstore to buy some things for the orphanage. We spent the afternoon wandering around, getting our bearings and carrying Baby Girl in the hot sun, as she is exhausted from the trip.
It was wonderful to talk to our friend about some of their adventures in working with the Roma people. It was heartbreaking to see so many beggars on the streets, but as we passed each one, she stopped and greeted every person. By NAME. The hands and feet of Jesus, y'all. After grabbing a quick dinner when Baby Girl woke up from her nap (must be nice to be carried around while you sleep!), we stopped at the local grocery store to load up on water and snacks to keep in our room. (We found a Dunkin Donuts right across the street from a local pizza shop- I believe we have spotted breakfast and lunch for tomorrow/today!) The pizza here is phenomenal- we've been looking forward
to having more of it since we left 5 and a half months ago.
Then we got to spend some time at our friends' apartment and hang out with their young boys while they talked missions with another family in town. It has been so encouraging to be able to come to a new country, see faces we know, hear the language we understand, and be able to fellowship with friends who understand what this week is for us! The Lord has certainly provided for us in ways we didn't even know we needed provision.
After that, it was time to come "home" and crash. We all slept soundly (at least until Baby Girl and I woke up a few hours ago.).
We hope to make it to church in a few hours, but depending on when this Benadryl kicks in, we may just sleep in and unpack some.
We could use prayers for the following:
- little Man's heart to be prepared for us, and our hearts for him. We are hoping for an easy bonding process and for the right tools as we comfort him in grieving the loss of his current life.
- that we can find all of the things we hoped to be able to donate to the orphanage and staff. We don't want to waste this opportunity to show Christ's love to all of the people He has made.
- that The Lord will guide our decisions in how we begin to parent two children. (For example, the planner in me is slightly stressed at trying to figure out where we will all sleep the first night. We won't have a crib until Wednesday, but we get him Monday. Pray The Lord works that out. Do we all pile into the same bed, leave the kiddos in one room together (Baby girl started in her own bed, but wound up in ours). It all sounds silly, but each decision can be a big deal in how he learns to trust us.)
Thank you all for your prayers. Now that the emotional numbness that comes with extreme physical exhaustion has started to fade, I find myself becoming incrediably excited, but also just as nervous with all the changes coming TOMORROW. :)
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Preparing our Hearts
We are counting down the DAYS until we leave to go get Little Man. Baby Girl has started saying we are going to "bust him out", and in many ways that's exactly how it feels. He has been a prisoner in his crib for far too long.
Preparations look similar to planning for any trip. There are clothes to wash, rooms to organize, clean sheets to put on beds (a MANDATORY part of my checklist on every trip- nothing like coming home to your own, clean bed!), and toys to pack. I am enjoying packing for FOUR for the first time though!
In addition to packing material things, Hubby and I are working on packing our hearts full of the tools we will need to parent this little boy and thrive on this first trip. If you are my friend on Facebook, you have likely seen the many articles I have been posting about the importance of attachment and bonding for children who have never truly received love. It is overwhelming to think of all the developmental things a child has missed from not being in a family. For instance, did you know that your sense of balance is partially developed from the rocking and bouncing you receive from your mother as a fussy infant? Things like cars and swings could be a major issue for you if all you have ever known is lying on your back in a crib. Imagine then the depth perception and visual stimuli you have as you learn to sit up and play. And imagine the lack of it, if you stared only at a white ceiling in your first months and years.
Now, we don't know exactly what Little Man's experience was as a baby. We saw clearly that his nanny cared deeply for him, but realistically, even with the most caring nanny, a room full of abandoned babies cannot possibly have all of their needs met with one or two people. And trust can only build so much when your primary caregiver works on a shift schedule. Moms and Dads were designed to be constant in a child's life. We will spend the first weeks and months spending time alone with Little Man so he can learn that we will never leave him.
In planning our trip, Hubby and I are preparing ourselves for a very rough few weeks. I have not read one pick-up story in which the child adjusted immediately to his new family. Most children spend days, weeks, months or even years crying, biting themselves or others, rocking, pulling their own hair out, inducing vomiting, beating their heads agains the floor, etc. (I am simply writing this to be honest with those who are planning to walk with us through this new phase in our family's life.) These are children with broken souls. They are coming from hard places.
Try to imagine being a child young enough that you can be physically carried (likely against your will) away from the only building and faces you have ever known. These new people speak calmly towards you, but you can't understand what they are saying. They smell funny. Everything they eat is weird. They put you in a car (maybe for the first time ever) and drive you to another building, only to have some person in a white coat hurt your arm with a shiny stick. Then red stuff pours out of you. You get to a new place with a big bed and a crib. You've never sat in water that reaches your tummy- you've only ever been squirted with cold water from a shower head. Somehow you are supposed to now go to sleep in your new crib with these weird blankets and pillows. Then just as you are starting to adjust, they put you on a spaceship and fly you around the world to another new place where EVERYONE talks funny and looks different.
The fear of being abandoned again by these new parents is a reality for these kids. Everything they've ever known has been torn away, who is to say it won't happen again?
Yes, in preparing for our trip, we are storing up the tools we will need to begin to help heal the hurt in his little heart. We are trying to cram in as much time as a couple to focus, pray and strengthen our own relationship, as it will be tried in ways we have never known. We have spent hours with Baby Girl, playing, laughing and talking with her about how much she is loved. This will be a difficult trial for her as well.
So why would we do this anyway? I mean, who in his right mind would INTENTIONALLY put his family under this stress and indefinite chaos?
I have many different ways I can answer that question. But the one that I can't ignore is: JESUS. Jesus would put Himself in harm's way to heal the brokenness of a hurting soul. He would give it all. For me. He saw me alone, wallowing in my own filth, a prisoner in my own crib of sin. And He came for me.
He came for me.
And we can't sit in our freedom from bondage, after being given more love than we can contain ourselves and NOT go back for those who haven't seen His face.
We have to go back for him. He's ours. He is spoken for. We DELIGHT in calling him our child.
The Father has filled our hearts with His promises and we know that following Him is not always easy, but we can testify from our own lives, that following Him is always the most joyful. He sees so much more than we can, and we KNOW that He has made us a family. So if the journey of becoming a family is even harder than the waiting, we can be certain of His great love for His children, and therefore, know He is still worthy of our adoration. And if the bonding process is painless, we will praise Him just the same (although more well-rested than the alternative, I'm sure!).
But let's face it, having two toddlers only 6 weeks apart in age is going to be a storm all on its own! ;)
And so we prepare. We prepare physically by packing (the OCD in me is loving all the lists I have scattered around the house!). We prepare emotionally as our relationships with each other will be different forever after adding another child. We prepare to say goodbye to our friends and family for some time as we pour into Little Man. And we prepare spiritually by studying, worshipping and memorizing the promises He has given us.
If you would like some resources to see how you can best support adoptive families, here are some great places to start:
http://www.child.tcu.edu/Book/The%20Connected%20Child%20Chapter%20Four.pdf
http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog/three-best-things-for-attachment/
http://copperlightwood.com/2014/04/upside-down-part-two.html
And as always, we appreciate your prayers as we start this new part of the journey. Please specifically pray for Little Man's heart to be prepared for us, and our hearts for him.
Preparations look similar to planning for any trip. There are clothes to wash, rooms to organize, clean sheets to put on beds (a MANDATORY part of my checklist on every trip- nothing like coming home to your own, clean bed!), and toys to pack. I am enjoying packing for FOUR for the first time though!
In addition to packing material things, Hubby and I are working on packing our hearts full of the tools we will need to parent this little boy and thrive on this first trip. If you are my friend on Facebook, you have likely seen the many articles I have been posting about the importance of attachment and bonding for children who have never truly received love. It is overwhelming to think of all the developmental things a child has missed from not being in a family. For instance, did you know that your sense of balance is partially developed from the rocking and bouncing you receive from your mother as a fussy infant? Things like cars and swings could be a major issue for you if all you have ever known is lying on your back in a crib. Imagine then the depth perception and visual stimuli you have as you learn to sit up and play. And imagine the lack of it, if you stared only at a white ceiling in your first months and years.
Now, we don't know exactly what Little Man's experience was as a baby. We saw clearly that his nanny cared deeply for him, but realistically, even with the most caring nanny, a room full of abandoned babies cannot possibly have all of their needs met with one or two people. And trust can only build so much when your primary caregiver works on a shift schedule. Moms and Dads were designed to be constant in a child's life. We will spend the first weeks and months spending time alone with Little Man so he can learn that we will never leave him.
In planning our trip, Hubby and I are preparing ourselves for a very rough few weeks. I have not read one pick-up story in which the child adjusted immediately to his new family. Most children spend days, weeks, months or even years crying, biting themselves or others, rocking, pulling their own hair out, inducing vomiting, beating their heads agains the floor, etc. (I am simply writing this to be honest with those who are planning to walk with us through this new phase in our family's life.) These are children with broken souls. They are coming from hard places.
Try to imagine being a child young enough that you can be physically carried (likely against your will) away from the only building and faces you have ever known. These new people speak calmly towards you, but you can't understand what they are saying. They smell funny. Everything they eat is weird. They put you in a car (maybe for the first time ever) and drive you to another building, only to have some person in a white coat hurt your arm with a shiny stick. Then red stuff pours out of you. You get to a new place with a big bed and a crib. You've never sat in water that reaches your tummy- you've only ever been squirted with cold water from a shower head. Somehow you are supposed to now go to sleep in your new crib with these weird blankets and pillows. Then just as you are starting to adjust, they put you on a spaceship and fly you around the world to another new place where EVERYONE talks funny and looks different.
The fear of being abandoned again by these new parents is a reality for these kids. Everything they've ever known has been torn away, who is to say it won't happen again?
Yes, in preparing for our trip, we are storing up the tools we will need to begin to help heal the hurt in his little heart. We are trying to cram in as much time as a couple to focus, pray and strengthen our own relationship, as it will be tried in ways we have never known. We have spent hours with Baby Girl, playing, laughing and talking with her about how much she is loved. This will be a difficult trial for her as well.
So why would we do this anyway? I mean, who in his right mind would INTENTIONALLY put his family under this stress and indefinite chaos?
I have many different ways I can answer that question. But the one that I can't ignore is: JESUS. Jesus would put Himself in harm's way to heal the brokenness of a hurting soul. He would give it all. For me. He saw me alone, wallowing in my own filth, a prisoner in my own crib of sin. And He came for me.
He came for me.
And we can't sit in our freedom from bondage, after being given more love than we can contain ourselves and NOT go back for those who haven't seen His face.
We have to go back for him. He's ours. He is spoken for. We DELIGHT in calling him our child.
The Father has filled our hearts with His promises and we know that following Him is not always easy, but we can testify from our own lives, that following Him is always the most joyful. He sees so much more than we can, and we KNOW that He has made us a family. So if the journey of becoming a family is even harder than the waiting, we can be certain of His great love for His children, and therefore, know He is still worthy of our adoration. And if the bonding process is painless, we will praise Him just the same (although more well-rested than the alternative, I'm sure!).
But let's face it, having two toddlers only 6 weeks apart in age is going to be a storm all on its own! ;)
And so we prepare. We prepare physically by packing (the OCD in me is loving all the lists I have scattered around the house!). We prepare emotionally as our relationships with each other will be different forever after adding another child. We prepare to say goodbye to our friends and family for some time as we pour into Little Man. And we prepare spiritually by studying, worshipping and memorizing the promises He has given us.
If you would like some resources to see how you can best support adoptive families, here are some great places to start:
http://www.child.tcu.edu/Book/The%20Connected%20Child%20Chapter%20Four.pdf
http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog/three-best-things-for-attachment/
http://copperlightwood.com/2014/04/upside-down-part-two.html
And as always, we appreciate your prayers as we start this new part of the journey. Please specifically pray for Little Man's heart to be prepared for us, and our hearts for him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)