Whew! This month has been a roller coaster for us. We have had some very exciting adoption moments where we clearly saw God move and we have also had some discouragement. People don't always have the kindest things to say to us about adoption and the process itself isn't always easy. We held our breath as we prayed relentlessly that the Father would match us with our child in this short window of time (see previous posts). I got the email from our social worker about a week ago. They couldn't find a child currently on the waiting list that would be a match for our family. Then today, adoptive families in our program were informed that the protests against the government are causing some delays in adoptions. Fortunately, none of the families we are connected to will be affected because they are already at a certain point in their processes. (Basically, families whose dossiers are in country and waiting for a referral are stuck because few to no meetings are able to take place with all of the unrest.) While we aren't at that point in the process yet, we are rapidly approaching it. I have no idea what this will mean for us in the next few months as our dossier is submitted.
I certainly don't mean to complain, but I do think it is only fair to explain all aspects of this journey. It is not all sunshine and roses and painting the nursery. As much as we know our Perfect Father is still intimately involved on this journey with us, it does not guarantee that the journey will be easy. There have been many tears shed this month. The ache in my arms to scoop up our child grows with intensity every day. To put it in perspective, a pregnancy typically lasts 9 months. If you look at the time we decided to grow our family, my "due date" is now. But instead, our timeline is still measured in YEARS.
Despite the discouragement, we are thankful to serve a SOVEREIGN Lord. When He spoke to us almost a year ago, He already knew how my heart would shatter with that disappointing email. He already knew what today would look like. He already knows when we will have a match and when we will bring our kiddo home.
Today has been a day of quiet reflection on what I want my heart to be. The groaning in my chest is just a reminder of who I have prayed to become. While we are stretching to the point of breaking, we remember this is how He molds us into who He is calling us to be. I have been replaying favorite worship songs to remind me of those prayers and to remind me that this process doesn't just provide a home for our child, but it GROWS me too.
"I want to live with abandon. Give You all that I am. Every part of my heart, Jesus, I place in Your hands."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SJR2vdJFXw
"Am I proof that You are who you say You are? That grace can really change our heart? Do I live like Your love is true? People pass And even if they don't know my name Is there evidence that I've been changed? When they see me, do they see You?
I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You.
If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back.
I want to live like that"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfosSggwQS0
"I'm giving You fear and You give faith. I'm giving You doubt and You give me grace. For every step I've never been alone. Even when it hurts You'll have your way. Even in the valley I will say, with every breath, You've never let me go. I will wait for You. You've NEVER failed before. I will wait for You.
If there's a road I should walk, help me find it. If I need to be still, give me peace for the moment. WHATEVER Your will. Whatever Your will. Can You help me find it?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsjZ94K7UQs
So today, I pray for peace.
Peace for the people of our child's country.
Peace for my husband, that he would have rest in this journey.
And I pray for peace for this mama's heart, even in its most unsteady moments.
Peace, Lord Jesus, Peace.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
A coincidence?
We went for our physicals and blood work today. When our agency and home study agent told us we would need physicals they said, "Oh, just get your family doctor to check you out and fill out this form." No big deal. ...if you already have a family doctor.
So off we searched for a doctor. We aren't sick very often so we haven't really needed a doctor in the last few years. After a few phone calls, the hubs got us an appointment. I have been a little nervous about this whole thing. What if they find something crazy and we don't pass? So I've been praying this week that God would work it all out.
Check in: no co-pay this time! Surprise #1!
The nurse takes our vitals - both are perfect. Whew! So far so good!
Then she sends us off to the little room. Of course the office is decorated with things from our alma mater (AKA -the best university on the planet)! We smiled at each other because we know God is working in this and laugh because the hubs is even wearing his school polo to match!
The doctor comes in. He is super friendly and I start explaining the forms for the home study and forms for the dossier. He takes them out of my hand and says, "Oh, I know all about these. We just finished ours a few months ago. We are adopting from China."
Seriously? Mouth wide open. Again. I've got to work on a better surprised face. But really, could God validate this process for us anymore? He continues to surprise us with each step.
So we get to swap stories with the doctor and share experiences. It turns out that they are also a part of our local support group for adoptive families. Go figure!
He sends us off to the lab to get our blood work done. We are signing in and I mention to the lady that we are getting all of this done for an adoption. She says, "Oh that's wonderful! I was adopted!"
Nothing like a little faith booster to steady my heart.
I don't know about you, but this just validates to me just how much the Father is involved in our lives. I don't think "stumbling across" this doctor was a coincidence. I don't think that we "just happened" to sit across from that specific lady at the lab. I think He is intimately involved in this entire process, but even more than that, He is involved in every aspect of my life. And not just my life, but yours too.
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
So off we searched for a doctor. We aren't sick very often so we haven't really needed a doctor in the last few years. After a few phone calls, the hubs got us an appointment. I have been a little nervous about this whole thing. What if they find something crazy and we don't pass? So I've been praying this week that God would work it all out.
Check in: no co-pay this time! Surprise #1!
The nurse takes our vitals - both are perfect. Whew! So far so good!
Then she sends us off to the little room. Of course the office is decorated with things from our alma mater (AKA -the best university on the planet)! We smiled at each other because we know God is working in this and laugh because the hubs is even wearing his school polo to match!
The doctor comes in. He is super friendly and I start explaining the forms for the home study and forms for the dossier. He takes them out of my hand and says, "Oh, I know all about these. We just finished ours a few months ago. We are adopting from China."
Seriously? Mouth wide open. Again. I've got to work on a better surprised face. But really, could God validate this process for us anymore? He continues to surprise us with each step.
So we get to swap stories with the doctor and share experiences. It turns out that they are also a part of our local support group for adoptive families. Go figure!
He sends us off to the lab to get our blood work done. We are signing in and I mention to the lady that we are getting all of this done for an adoption. She says, "Oh that's wonderful! I was adopted!"
Nothing like a little faith booster to steady my heart.
I don't know about you, but this just validates to me just how much the Father is involved in our lives. I don't think "stumbling across" this doctor was a coincidence. I don't think that we "just happened" to sit across from that specific lady at the lab. I think He is intimately involved in this entire process, but even more than that, He is involved in every aspect of my life. And not just my life, but yours too.
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
Monday, July 15, 2013
Possibly a HUGE step forward
We were able to spend the 4th of July with my in-laws this year. As it turns out, our agency is only an hour from their house so we decided to drop in and meet our case worker for the first time. Our many talks on the phone are great, but it was wonderful to finally match a face with her voice!
As many of you know, part of the adoption referral process is filling out an extensive list of medical needs that we are willing to consider. This is the one part of the process I dreaded more than anything else. It is so incredibly difficult to feel like you are playing the role of God in determining what you can handle. After all, in a pregnancy, He chooses the gender, medical needs and everything else in this little life. We spent the last months praying about it, talked to several medical professionals who were able to explain all of the different conditions, took a deep breath and tackled the list. We would go through a few of the boxes, take a break, pray and then go through a few more. Finally we finished the 5 page list and laid the rest at His feet. (For privacy reasons, we are choosing not to disclose our choices. If you have any questions about this part of the process, we would be happy to answer them, but please do not ask us what we chose as it is a very personal and sensitive subject. :) )
Since we were in the area, we wanted to talk with our case worker about our list and see if it would reduce our waiting time. She looked through our list and said, "Well, if you are sure of your choices, I can go ahead and fax this to the team in country so they can start looking for your child."
I wish there had been a camera there to capture my expression. Eyes huge. Mouth wide open.
Basically what this means is that our agency's partners in country will begin looking over the "master" waiting child list for a child to match to us. If they find a match before our dossier (huge stack of paperwork) is submitted (probably around November) our process will speed up quite drastically. If they don't find a match in these next few months, the Minister of Justice will take over our case when our dossier is submitted and the waiting time will be back to 2-5 years. It was a huge surprise to us, because we didn't think this was even a possibility. Typically, they don't start searching for your child until the dossier is in country.
It is unlikely that we will get THE phone call in the next few months, but we consider this an opportunity to watch God move mountains if He chooses. If a match is found before our dossier is submitted, our process will proceed very quickly, which means that we could possibly have our kiddo home about a year from now. (Seriously, I can't even type that out without giggling and clapping. Ha!)
It is a little nerve-wrecking having all of that information typed out for everyone to see. It somehow makes it more real. But we wanted to share it because it is a very specific thing that you can pray for.
~ Pray that our agency's partners will be able to find a match on the waiting child list BEFORE our dossier is submitted- which means our child will have a much shorter wait in the orphanage.
~ Pray that everyone in this process will act with diligence and urgency so that our child and all the others waiting in orphanages will join a family soon!
~ Pray that God would remove all the obstacles in this process and that He would surround our Little One with grace and love.
~ Pray that the finances would work in His timing. A faster process means the funds must come together MUCH faster.
Thank you for all the prayers and walking with us on this journey. We are so excited at the possibility of this process moving quickly! It is more than we ever could have dreamed. It is exciting to see the Lord move and to be able to share this story as a testimony to His greatness. We are so blessed!
As many of you know, part of the adoption referral process is filling out an extensive list of medical needs that we are willing to consider. This is the one part of the process I dreaded more than anything else. It is so incredibly difficult to feel like you are playing the role of God in determining what you can handle. After all, in a pregnancy, He chooses the gender, medical needs and everything else in this little life. We spent the last months praying about it, talked to several medical professionals who were able to explain all of the different conditions, took a deep breath and tackled the list. We would go through a few of the boxes, take a break, pray and then go through a few more. Finally we finished the 5 page list and laid the rest at His feet. (For privacy reasons, we are choosing not to disclose our choices. If you have any questions about this part of the process, we would be happy to answer them, but please do not ask us what we chose as it is a very personal and sensitive subject. :) )
Since we were in the area, we wanted to talk with our case worker about our list and see if it would reduce our waiting time. She looked through our list and said, "Well, if you are sure of your choices, I can go ahead and fax this to the team in country so they can start looking for your child."
I wish there had been a camera there to capture my expression. Eyes huge. Mouth wide open.
Basically what this means is that our agency's partners in country will begin looking over the "master" waiting child list for a child to match to us. If they find a match before our dossier (huge stack of paperwork) is submitted (probably around November) our process will speed up quite drastically. If they don't find a match in these next few months, the Minister of Justice will take over our case when our dossier is submitted and the waiting time will be back to 2-5 years. It was a huge surprise to us, because we didn't think this was even a possibility. Typically, they don't start searching for your child until the dossier is in country.
It is unlikely that we will get THE phone call in the next few months, but we consider this an opportunity to watch God move mountains if He chooses. If a match is found before our dossier is submitted, our process will proceed very quickly, which means that we could possibly have our kiddo home about a year from now. (Seriously, I can't even type that out without giggling and clapping. Ha!)
It is a little nerve-wrecking having all of that information typed out for everyone to see. It somehow makes it more real. But we wanted to share it because it is a very specific thing that you can pray for.
~ Pray that our agency's partners will be able to find a match on the waiting child list BEFORE our dossier is submitted- which means our child will have a much shorter wait in the orphanage.
~ Pray that everyone in this process will act with diligence and urgency so that our child and all the others waiting in orphanages will join a family soon!
~ Pray that God would remove all the obstacles in this process and that He would surround our Little One with grace and love.
~ Pray that the finances would work in His timing. A faster process means the funds must come together MUCH faster.
Thank you for all the prayers and walking with us on this journey. We are so excited at the possibility of this process moving quickly! It is more than we ever could have dreamed. It is exciting to see the Lord move and to be able to share this story as a testimony to His greatness. We are so blessed!
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