We are just a couple of weeks away from our one year celebration of GOTCHA Day. Can you believe it? As I've said before, it is hard to believe it has been a whole year already, but it is also hard to believe he hasn't been here all along. I am hoping that in the next few weeks, my dear husband will write a post from his perspective. :)
We are also quickly approaching his birthday! I am quite excited to be able to finally celebrate his birthday at home. His 2nd birthday was the day we asked to have his adoption file from our agency (we found out later that was his birthday). His 3rd birthday was the day after we picked him up from the orphanage. He was extremely overwhelmed, but he did eat a piece of chocolate cake and wear a birthday hat. We were thrilled to have him in our arms that year. Now, we get to have an actual party to celebrate his life, this precious year we have spent together, and look forward to what God will do in the coming year. I have been asking him what he wants for his birthday, and I am always amused with his answer: pizza, macaroni, and cake! I am both amazed and proud that when I ask what he wants for a gift, he simply starts naming friends and family he wants to share his cake with.
We are very hopeful that Little Man will also make tremendous progress participating as Baby Girl begins homeschooling this year. He is still learning shapes, colors, and letters, so he isn't quite ready for worksheets, but I know he will learn a lot by being in the room while Baby Girl starts her first year of preschool. The hope is that Little Man will learn these fundamentals as well as work on motor skills so he will be able to hold a pencil and begin school next year. He is very excited to start on the coloring pages and projects I have shown him that I have ready just for him.
It has been a busy two weeks as the Hubs has recently returned from his trip to Little Man's first country. He greatly enjoyed his time there and made some wonderful friendships. While Hubby was overseas, Little Man had a check up at a children's hospital that works specifically with children who have certain disabilities. While they were SUPER impressed with his walking, they did have some disappointing news for us. It appears that Little Man's spine has curved about 10 more degrees since our last visit around February. Before, his curve was around 40 degrees, so it only required bracing at night, but now that it is over 50 degrees, he must wear his back brace all the time and will also likely require surgery. Because his scoliosis has progressed so suddenly, they believe his spinal cord has tethered-forcing his spine to curve, which also requires surgery. Unfortunately, since his hydrocephaly shunt has metal in it, we do not feel a MRI is a safe option, so we will be unable to determine if his cord has tethered until the surgeon begins the surgery to correct the scoliosis.
So that is not news that we wanted to hear, and was honestly a surprise, even though we know with his spina bifida, it is not uncommon. In addition to those things, he has also not gained any weight. We are praying about whether to pursue further tests, or to submit to a surgery to have a feeding tube placed. If we go for a feeding tube, we will need to have that surgery done before the surgery on his spine so that he will be able to have that nutrition while recovering from surgery.
That is a lot of information for us to process, and many small, daily details and choices we are navigating that I won't bore you with here.
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I don't think it is a surprise to anyone who knows us well that the heartbeat of our marriage, from the very beginning, has been for the nations. This past year has left us conflicted and a little confused at the Father's plan for our lives as Little Man's medical needs have become more apparent. We wholeheartedly believe that God led us specifically to Little Man, while we also believe He has a specific plan for us in missions. Right now, it is a little difficult to see how those two things will work together, as Little Man requires more and more medical intervention here at home, while our hearts long to be in his first country. I told the Hubs when he came home, that while it was very difficult to get the news of Little Man's impending surgeries while he was so far away, I believe God orchestrated it that way. I know had I not called him to tell him the news from the doctors, Hubby would have come home ready to sell the house and get back on a plane. I believe God was protecting his heart so that when he came home, he would already knew we'd have to stay here for at least some time longer.
During the adoption, long after we had committed to and met Little Man, we had hoped that God would miraculously heal Little Man, and we could in turn, all return to Eastern Europe to tell others of His glory. But as the story unfolds, it seems that is not the Father's plan after all. BUT, He has been faithful to continue to cover the four of us with His wings as we walk down this unknown path. Just a week before Hubby left for Eastern Europe, a precious couple who have given up everything to follow Jesus blessed us by coming over for dinner one night. We talked of God's work among the nations, our desires, and the medical complications hindering us from leaving. (At that point, we had no idea we were facing surgeries.) Our friend gently patted the table and said, "His plan may not make sense right now, but ten years from now, you will look back and say, 'Oh, I see what You were doing, Father.' And you will be amazed." I have replayed that in my head many times since that dinner. I am so thankful for the people God puts in our lives and the encouragement they bring. Even while overseas, Hubby recounts telling the team the news about Little Man and the tears and prayers that were offered on his behalf. A recent call from those new friends left him humbled as they continued to pray over Little Man, on the other side of the world.
I have learned many, many things in the past few years; things that have been painful to learn at times. Most of them seem so simple, it is easy to nod, whisper "Amen" and scroll along. But, time has taught me that they are not so simple that it takes away from how profound these lessons are.
The Father is good. He is so, so good to His children.
God can be trusted. I still struggle with this, but as I told the Hubs, all I have to do is re-read some of the posts on this blog, and it all comes flooding back. I can trust Him.
Adonai is faithful. Again, I am thankful for the passing of time with the Father. We have marked our trail well, so there is no doubt where we have come from and Who led us to this point.
Elohim is strong. There have been days in this journey that it has been too much to even put one foot in front of the other. Those are the days the Shepherd lifts me up, like a little lamb who continues to run astray, and carries me on the strength of His broad shoulders.
The I AM is eternal. My life is but a vapor. But He is already sitting at the table ten years from now, waiting to show me how He is orchestrating these years. And these days of doctor appointments and planning, are such very insignificant strokes in the magnificent masterpiece He is painting over all generations.
So as we take a deep breath and begin walking into these next few months and years, we are reminded that we only get so many trips around the sun. We were extremely humbled at the final whispers from the funeral of a friend's husband, "Make it count. Make it count."
Make. It. Count.
