The Waiting

Well it has been an incredibly long time since I have updated the blog.   Don't get me wrong, there have been many things I have wanted to share, but our computer shut down on us a few months ago, and updating from a phone was difficult.  :)  Our brother had a computer that he no longer used and graciously let us have it.  (Thanks, C!  We love ya!)

In my last post, I shared the wonderful news that we had received Little Man's referral.  Since then, we have traveled on trip 1, come home, filled out even more paperwork, waited, passed court and are now waiting eagerly to be given travel dates to return to bring him home forever!   It has been a little over 3 weeks since we passed court and he legally became our son, so we are growing anxious as we are beyond ready to go get him!

Our first trip was amazing!  We arrived at the orphanage with more emotions than can be described in words. We walked up the steps and were ushered into the director's office.  There is a rule that says you may not take pictures or videos of your child until after you have met him/ her and signed forms stating that you do indeed want him/her.  Apparently, it is common for families to make the trip and decide that they no longer want their child.  When we sat down across from her, she informed our facilitator that she would not require us to sign before meeting Little Man.  She knew we wanted him.  She also said, "We have been waiting a long time for you to come to him."  I couldn't help but smile and say, "Us too!"  Seriously, you have NO idea how long we have waited!

They ushered us into a tiny room and we took our coats off expecting to wait for a while before they were able to get him from his room and bring him to us.  As soon as we sat down, his precious nanny walked in with him.  It is impossible to describe the emotions that hit you when you see your child for the first time.  It is profoundly different than the feeling you experience when your child is born, just as glorious, but different.  Here was the little boy whose pictures and videos we had memorized by heart.  He was alive and right in front of us!  There wasn't any time to process all of those different thoughts though, because he immediately pointed at the Hubby and screamed "DaDa!"  There could not have been a more perfect introduction.   In that moment, heaven kissed earth and Little Man was fatherless no more.

The rest of our visits were mostly what we expected.  Little Man LOVED his daddy immediately and quickly bonded to me and Baby Girl.  He got such a kick out of his new little sister.  Since he is unable to walk or crawl efficiently, it was difficult for him to reach toys.  He quickly learned that if he called his sister's name, she would run get a toy and bring it to him.  And all he wanted to do was hug her, which of course, melted this mama's heart.  It was as though he has been in our family all along.

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Today, we wait eagerly for the email saying we have been invited back to Little Man's first country for Gotcha Day.   We pulled Little Man's file last August, after already being in the adoption process for 5 months.  So this pregnancy has now lasted 17 months!  And I am ready to be done!  We have had many friends become pregnant, give birth, and start raising their new children in the time we have waited just to be with Little Man. We want our little boy!  He has spent enough time in that orphanage.  As much as his nanny cares for him, it is time for him to have a family of his own.

For us, the waiting is a careful balance between waiting on the Lord's timing and also knowing that we are not fighting against flesh and blood in the red tape.  If I had a dollar for every time I have been told, "Wait on God's timing" I could fund a second adoption.  :)  We absolutely trust and understand that the Lord's timing is perfect for Little Man's homecoming, but we also understand that not every delay in this world is His will, but simply events that He allows.  His will is not for children to languish in orphanages.  The wait is a delicate balance in praying for His will in Little Man's life, but also praying against things that the enemy uses to keep our son a prisoner in his crib.

Romans 8 has been a chapter to cling to in this process.  Especially now in the waiting.  I fully understand the groaning in crying "Abba, Father."

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. 
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.  Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.  For in this hope we are saved.  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.  
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."   Romans 8:18-27

As we wait for our adoption to be finalized in the Lord in eternity, we wait for CJ's adoption to begin in new life with us.  At home.