Toes in the Water

Apparently I have been slacking in keeping this blog up-to-date!  As of yesterday, our dossier is on its way to Little Man's country!  (The dossier is the giant stack of paperwork that we have been working on over the last few months.  It includes our home study, Immigration approval, background checks, and lots of other forms and records.)  Now we are at a waiting phase.  It should arrive by Thursday, spend around a week in translation, then take several days to get different approvals.  After all of that is done, it will be submitted to the council that meets to "refer" children to adoptive families.

Many of you know we were originally planning to go the traditional route, which means we would wait for the country to select a relatively healthy child for us.  But back in August, God showed us the face of a little boy on the waiting child list, which is a list of children who are older or have special needs and are more unlikely to be adopted.  We knew instantly that he was the child God had planned for our family and we committed to him that week!  So since we are already committed to a child, when our dossier gets to this big meeting in a few weeks, they will match us to him officially.  This is called the "referral."  We get more papers and declare, "YES we WANT him!"  Then we get to travel to meet him for the first time! 

To give you perspective on what our timeline would have been had we not committed to Little Man and we had gone the traditional route, families (waiting for mostly young, healthy kiddos) whose dossiers were submitted in 2010 and 2011 are just now receiving referrals! 

It has been such a JOY to see how God has been so intimately involved in this entire process.  He has grown us beyond what we thought was possible.  One of the very tangible ways He has proven His faithfulness has been in the finances.  I want to write out this post so you can share in our JOY at the great things He has done!  (But be prepared, it's long.)  :)

First, I want to show you a story that God used a year ago to prepare me for what was coming in this adoption.  I was reading through Joshua when one detail stopped me in my tracks, one detail that I don't think I had ever paid attention to before. 

So here is the setting: Moses had just died and God called Joshua to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land.  The spies had gone into the land and Rahab hid them.  The spies made their way back to the camp and told Joshua about their adventure.  God told Joshua it was time to move- they were to cross the Jordan and soon march around the walls of Jericho.

~
Joshua 3:5-17

Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you."
Joshua said to the priests, "Take up the ark of the covenant and pass on ahead of the people." So they took it up and went ahead of them.
And the Lord said to Joshua, "Today I will begin to exalt you in the eyes of all Israel, so they may know that I am with you as I was with Moses.  Tell the priests who carry the ark of the covenant: 'When you reach the edge of the Jordan's waters, go and stand in the river'."
Joshua said to the Israelites, "Come here and listen to the words of the Lord your God.  This is how you will know that the living God is among you and that He will certainly drive out before you the Canaanites, the Hittites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites and Jebusites.  See, the ark of the covenant of the Lord all the earth will go into the Jordan ahead of you.  Now then, chose twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe.  And as soon as the priests who carry the ark of the Lord- the Lord of all the earth-set foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap."
So when the people broke camp to cross the Jordan, the priests carrying the ark of the covenant went ahead of them.  Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest.  Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water's edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing.  It piled up in a heap a great distance away, at a town called Adam in the vicinity of Zarethan, while the water flowing down to the Sea of the Arabah (the Salt Sea) was completely cut off.  So the people crossed over opposite Jericho.  The priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan, while all Israel passed by until the whole nation had completed crossing on dry ground."
~

Ok, so now you've got the idea of what God had put in my heart right as He was calling us to follow His lead and apply for this adoption.  The following is a piece of my journal entry on February 13, 2013 (to give you a timeline-this is before we actually filed the paperwork to apply for an adoption with our agency):

~
"Was My arm too short to ransom you?  Do I lack the strength to rescue you?" ~ Isaiah 50:2b
Today is an exciting day.  After months of praying and planning, it is time begin our adoption!  The hubs and I had a long talk last night.  After a pause in the conversation, he looked me square in the eye and said, "Let's do it."  I will never forget that face.  In his eyes were excitement, hope, fear, faith and love.  It was the same face that told me he loved me for the first time so many years ago.  Oh, how I love this man!  I scooted close to him and smiled, "It looks like you're going to be a daddy again."

Today I am full of so many different emotions.  I am so excited to have another sweetie in our family!  I am nervous about what is ahead of us, the emotions, the paperwork and the money.  I know that God already knows how the finances will work out, and I find peace in that, but in my humanness, I look around and wonder, "Where in the world is this money going to come from?!"  In these moments, I remember several weeks ago, folding laundry on the bed, singing praise songs, and finally overwhelmed at the seemingly impossible road before us, kneeling beside the bed and hearing His familiar whisper, "Beloved, I have made a way." 
I am scared to take the first step down this path, but faith isn't easy.  I constantly think of Joshua telling the Israelites to cross the Jordan River.  The river didn't stop flowing until the priests' feet touched the water's edge. 
It is likely that God will not show us the path until we are stepping in.  If He brings us to the water's edge a thousand times, I will count it all joy to watch His miracles unfold before my eyes each time.
~

I still think back to this story frequently.  God didn't stop the river until their feet were wet.  God hasn't laid out the entirety of His plan for our adoption, or the rest of our lives.  But He has told us the next step each time we need to move.  And as each step comes, He makes a way.

God has been so faithful during this journey that I simply can't keep it to myself.  I need to tell of the things He has done.  His heart has always been that people would turn to Him, and if this little example of His goodness and faithfulness can encourage someone in any way, it needs to be told.

As you can see by the little thermometer on the right side of the page, the average international adoption costs around $30,000.  Fortunately, most of these payments are divided up over the entire process.  As each step comes, so does each payment.  It is a small price to pay for the ransom of a life, if you think about it.  Jesus gave everything.  His very life.  And we too, are willing to give it all for this little boy. 

The Father has poured out His blessings on us.  He has literally performed miracles.  Several months ago, we had a payment due.  $1625.  I went to get the mail one day and I opened an envelope to find a check for $1,000.  The little note said that God had laid us and this amount on her heart.  I didn't think I was going to be able to walk the rest of the way up the driveway.  I stood very still for a long time, wiping the tears from my face.
A few days later, the hubs had an unusual task come up at work- a job that another worker is typically paid for each time this job is done (think similar to commission for each job instead of a salary paycheck).  Because the hubs was the only one available at the time to do the job, he was paid this extra amount.  Anyone want to guess how much the check was for?  Yep.  $625.

Just two weeks ago we had two payments due.  One we expected, another that we thought was still another month away.  We started adding up what we could find- a jar that we have been putting cash in as we have it, checks from friends and family that we needed to deposit, etc.  I sat in the chair and recounted and recounted.  God provided down to the dime (with even $10 to store up for the next payment!).  That little money jar has become our widow's oil.  When we need it, the money is somehow in that jar.

I still have to wipe away tears when I think about the people who blessed us over Christmas.  Not one, not two, but THREE people slipped money into our hands and said, "I chose to forgo a Christmas present.  Bringing your son home is worth more to me than a gift under the tree."

To look into their faces and see Jesus in their eyes, pouring out His love through them, is indescribable.  It moves my soul like I have never experienced.

And right now, we stand at the edge of the Jordan again.  We know that with Little Man's referral comes added payments, plane tickets and in-country expenses.  We are expecting to need approximately $6,000 by our first trip, probably in March.  I have to admit, the first few times I stood at the edge of this river, I shook with fear.  But now, it is quickly becoming one of my favorite places to be. 

I know over my life, I have prayed, "God, why didn't I get to be there to see the Red Sea part?  I want to see the blind healed and the lame leap for joy.  Don't you move like that anymore?"

And now I see.  I am the blind man who now sees the enormity of my God as I stand firm in the dry sand of the river.
I am the woman pouring the unending oil from my little jar in faith as the Father opens the floodgates of heaven.
It is overwhelming, y'all.  I pray that each of you get to see Him from this angle.  I pray that your faith far surpasses my own. 

It's time again.  I can almost hear His whisper in the wind, "It's time to move again, Beloved.  I am about to place your son in your arms."  I can feel the coolness of the water lap against my toes as my family holds hands and we begin to wade into the water.

We are about to watch the Father move.

And there's no place I'd rather be. 


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I typed out the above post around noon today.  When my husband came home from work a few hours later, he was grinning.  He told me he had some news for me.  Our insurance company is giving us a check for a little over $4,000.

$4,000!

How do I even find the words to start commenting on this?!  We have been in communication with them for a few months about this check.  We received it, but didn't have a clue as to why.  When we called to make sure it was legitimate, they said they would have to look into it, but it was probably unlikely that it would work out for us to keep it.  (Of course there are many details to this story, but they don't seem very important right now.)  I tried to not think about it because I didn't want to get my hopes up in what seemed to be an impossibility. 

I don't even have a clear thought process at this point to describe how amazed I am right now. 

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house.  'Test Me in this,' says the LORD ALMIGHTY, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour our so much blessing that you will not have enough room for it."  ~ Malachi 3:10


He sees us.  He cares.  He is faithful.  He is good.  And He loves my little boy even more than I do.